I was watching a commercial where a woman in a sequined pantsuit cannonballed into a pool while holding a margarita the size of her regrets, and I had a moment.
A realization.
We really said yes to tequila ads but banned Joe Camel like he was an unrepentant war criminal. You ever wonder why you can see a whole cinematic universe built around a hard seltzer brand, but if a cigarette so much as clears its throat on television, we act like it’s cursed media from a 1992 VHS tape?
Let’s talk about it.
And don’t worry, I brought metaphors. And facts. And maybe a little chaos.
🚬 First, a Quick (and Slightly Smoky) History Lesson
Cigarettes were everywhere in the 20th century—glamorous, rugged, rebellious. From Hollywood icons to cartoon camels, tobacco had main character energy. That is, until people started dropping dead en masse, and science went, “Uhh… hey y’all? These things are kind of killing everyone?”So in 1971, the U.S. banned cigarette ads from TV and radio. Later, billboards, event sponsorships, and cartoon mascots went up in regulatory smoke. We packed Joe Camel’s tiny suitcase and told him to get lost.
Meanwhile, alcohol?
Dodged that fate like a greased-up raccoon in a laser maze. There’s no federal law banning alcohol ads. The industry self-regulates, like a teenager promising they’ll “only have one drink” at prom.
🍷 Health Risks: Same Storm, Different Boats
Let’s be clear: neither of these substances is winning awards for their health benefits.
Cigarettes: lung cancer, heart disease, and the scent of bad decisions.
Alcohol: liver damage, addiction, blackouts, and texting your ex “wyd.”
But alcohol gets to wear a cute outfit. We tell people wine is good for their hearts if they swirl it enough times and pair it with goat cheese. Meanwhile, nobody’s out here claiming Marlboro Reds are good for your bones if you smoke them with a side of arugula.
One gives you lung rot.
The other turns your liver into soup.
But only one got ghosted by capitalism.
🧠 Culture, Baby
Smoking has been rebranded as villain behavior. Only three types of characters smoke in modern media:
Evil moms in French art films
1940s noir detectives with commitment issues
People who say “I’m fine” while actively catching on fire
But alcohol? Oh no. She’s thriving.
She’s the life of the party.
She’s sponsoring music festivals.
She’s at brunch, in your skincare, and being marketed as a “wellness ritual” in some circles.
(Yes, Karen, your vodka-infused green juice is still a coping mechanism.)
We told cigarettes to take a long walk off a short lung,
and gave alcohol a marketing degree and a corner office.
💸 Money Talks, Morals Walk
The alcohol industry makes big money. Big big. It sponsors sports. It partners with celebrities. It’s sexy, fun, and culturally embedded.
Cigarettes couldn’t keep up. You can’t sponsor a music festival with secondhand smoke and the threat of emphysema. You can’t slap a menthol logo on a Coachella stage and call it a lifestyle.
Basically: we banned one party guest for coughing too much,
and kept the other who occasionally sets the drapes on fire
but brings incredible sangria.
🥴 So… What Are We Really Saying?
I'm not here to play morality cop. I’m just saying: let’s not pretend alcohol got the halo just because it comes in a glitter can and pairs well with charcuterie. Both substances are harmful. Both have ruined lives. But one still gets commercial breaks during football games, and the other gets hushed like Voldemort in a public library. We didn’t ban cigarette ads just because we care. We banned them because we had enough proof they were deadly and the cultural mood shifted hard enough to let it happen.
Alcohol? Still too profitable, too socially entangled, too… normalized.
Final Sip 🍷
I’m not suggesting we ban alcohol ads (though honestly, fewer ads with shirtless guys shotgunning beer on a yacht wouldn’t hurt anyone). But I am saying we should at least be honest about the double standard.
One vice got kicked to the curb.
The other got a brand deal and a podcast.
Choose your poison, just don’t pretend one is vitamin water.
Stay Weird. Love you. Mean it.
—No Apologies, Just Stories
As a boring mid-40s person I am wildly aware of how rampant alcohol use is in TV shows and films all of a sudden… or actually maybe not so suddenly, but rather ever since perimenopause made me say farewell for good to all of it. I guess going sober makes it stand out much more to me now and it actually makes me feel horrible to see how normalized media makes constantly drinking looks. Wine and beer seems to be on every dinner table, at every social gathering, or every scene a female takes a bath or finds herself sobbing. 😕
I was actually in a seminar about this and you're quite spot on.
Gotta admit going to a bar, drinking beer and smoking a cigarette hit different back in the day.