Late Night Feelings

As I lay here eating black licorice jelly beans (don’t fucking judge me, you buttered popcorn jelly bean–eating gremlin), my toddler’s legs draped over my lap, my husband’s loud, obnoxious snoring providing surround sound, and my baby’s soft, adorable little snore tucked in somewhere between us, I realize how truly blessed I am.

I won’t lie—I desperately needed this vacation. All the stress and emotional heaviness I’ve been carrying around like an invisible backpack full of bricks has started to loosen its grip, even if it’s only for four days. I haven’t had a real break in almost three years. Not the “sit down but still be on call” kind of break—the kind where your shoulders actually drop without you noticing. It’s also been really nice having my husband around more. Not just physically here, but here here. Helping with the girls, laughing more, being less exhausted and irritated from work. Watching him get to just be Dad instead of Survival Mode Dad has done something gentle to my heart.

Watching my kids experience new things—wide-eyed, fearless, completely unburdened by the weight of tomorrow—has been incredible. They don’t know about schedules or stress or emotional burnout. They just know the joy of something new, the thrill of snacks in unfamiliar places, and the magic of being allowed to be loud and curious. And honestly? It’s contagious. Every tantrum, every “I HAVE TO PEE RIGHT NOW” bathroom stop, every snack negotiation and backseat meltdown to get here has been worth it. Because right now, in this small, noisy, snoring, licorice-scented moment, everything feels softer. Calmer. Like maybe I can breathe again.

And for now, that’s enough

Stay Weird. Love You. Mean It.